Quote of the Day (2008-11-24)

Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2008-11-23)

Lee: Hi, can I get Holly Golightly's room please? Danny: Who's that? Lee: It's Gwen's code name, it's from Breakfast at Tiffany's. Danny: Oh, what's that? Lee: It's a movie, a great movie, Hepburn. Danny: Right, Katherine. Lee: Do me a favor, don't tell anyone you're in the movies.

Source: America's Sweethearts

Quote of the Day (2008-11-22)

Narrator: Do you want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade? Richard Chesler: Yes. Make these your primary action items.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2008-11-21)

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Count Rugen: Stop saying that!

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2008-11-20)

Narrator: Was it ticking? Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Narrator: Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating? Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering] Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo. Narrator: I don't own... [Officer waves Narrator off]

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2008-11-19)

Narrator: This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2008-11-18)

H.I.: Do you ever get the feeling that there's something... Powerful pressing down on you? Glen: Yes, I know that feeling. I told Dot to lose some weight but she don't wanna listen.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2008-11-17)

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground. Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see... Gale: Shut up! Feisty Hayseed: Okay then. Gale: Everybody down on the ground! Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now. Gale: Better still to get down there. Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya? [Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows] Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go? Teller's voices: We're down here, sir. Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2008-11-16)

As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. [ulk] The cartoon peril was no more. The Quest for Holy Grail could continue.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2008-11-15)

Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement. Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2008-11-13)

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me? Buttercup: Well... you were dead. Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. Buttercup: I will never doubt again. Westley: There will never be a need.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2008-11-12)

Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2008-11-11)

Duff book of records: Springfield is now the fattest city in the U.S. Homer: Woo Hoo. In your face Milwaukee.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2008-11-10)

Sir Humphrey: "How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information, by the way?" Sir Arnold: "Sorry, I cannot talk about that."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-11-09)

Sir Humphrey: "Well, we can always try to persuade them [the BBC] to withdraw programs voluntarily, once they realize that transmission is not in the public interest." Jim Hacker: "Well, it is not in my interest. And I represent the public, so it is not in the public interest." Sir Humphrey: "That's a novel argument. We haven't tried that on them before."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-11-08)

Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans. Brian: I do! Reg: Oh yeah, how much? Brian: A lot! Reg: Right, you're in.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2008-11-07)

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Source: Monty Python's Flying Circus

Quote of the Day (2008-11-06)

Jim Hacker: "But you got me this job [local government]." Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but I didn't expect you to do anything, I mean, you have never done anything before."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-11-05)

This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2008-11-04)

Harry: Suppose nothing happens to you. Suppose you lived out your whole life and nothing happens you never meet anybody you never become anything and finally you die in one of those New York deaths which nobody notices for two weeks until the smell drifts into the hallway.
Sally: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
Harry: That's what drew her to me.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

NFL'ers Suitable Presidential Candidates

Shutdown Corner has a funny little post about NFL players past and present who might make a good candidate for president. I found the comments on Brett Favre particularly amusing:

Brett Favre. He could run some absurd "I'm just a regular guy" campaign, which would probably effectively fool our populace. Once elected, though, every bill that came across his desk would get signed and whited-out approximately 928 times before he made an actual decision. John Kerry would accuse him of being too flip-floppy.

[from comments]
You forgot the part where Brett Favre would win because everyone's infatuated with him, but then, when he couldn't be elected to a third term, he'd move to France and become their President.

[again from comments]
Brett's first act as the President of France would be to surrender 3 interceptions to the Germans.

Funny enough for election day.

Quote of the Day (2008-11-03)

I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]

Source: Holy Grail